Last weekend I retreated into the wilderness at Camp Blogaway in California's beautiful San Bernardino mountains with other fork-enabled, alphabetically inclined conspirators in nosh. We laughed, we cried, we wined and dined, oohed and aahed, took notes and pics and hikes and swell corporate swag—and we all got along swimmingly. Here's my top ten list of what I took away (besides the swag) from my great blogging getaway.
10. Wherever you go, there's your blog.
You can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the blog out of the girl’s overactive brain. Luckily, Prosac works in the woods, too.
9. A blog voice is not the real person.
The disparity between an online persona and the real-life person can be eye-opening. I know this not only from my experience at Camp Blogaway, but because Lentil Breakdown has not once offered to cook me dinner.
8. Sometimes it's better to be Jackson Pollock.
When you’re in a cake decorating contest and have never used cake decorating tools, why wander into Martha territory without a compass? Just say you’re an Abstract Expressionist artist all snooty-like and be done with it.
7. My photos suck.
Apparently I never got the memo that said a food shot must have a moody, diffused background with a glistening, sexed-up dish posing provocatively in the foreground atop a fleur-de-lis plate and napkin ensemble. Mine have fleur de sel. Shouldn’t that count?
6. Twitter resistance is futile.
Sure, I have a Twitter account, but I haven't gotten on the bandwagon because I didn’t want another thing to obsess about. Takeaway: What’s one more obsession to add to the pile?
5. Use your white balance.
No, you don’t have to move to Arizona to achieve this. Just look for the adjustment on your camera. Fewer travel expenses.
4. Don't forget your tap shoes.
When someone asks you to describe your blog, and you have not crafted a succinct positioning statement for yourself, breaking into Sammy Davis Jr’s "I Gotta Be Me" is your best bet. And make sure to do a little tap dance too.
3. Drinking makes you smarter.
If you want to win a martini kit badly enough, you really can figure out how many olives are in a big-ass jar, even though you almost flunked high school algebra.
2. Knockers up!
According to our fearless camp leader, people in a group photo are more photogenic when their breasts are pointing skyward like a couple of perky pine cones. Must be why God invented cold mountain air.
1. You’re never too old to have a new B.F.F.F. (Best Foodie Friends Forever).
Our obsessive ilk is an exotic breed, and now I know a whole slew of them from clear across the country to half a mile away, which means I can finally ramble on about things that others would like to have me committed for. And that's a good thing. At least for me it is.