After leaving the optician yesterday, I was feeling depressed. I hadn’t really looked at myself in the mirror lately until I started trying on glasses. “Who’s that?” I thought, before realizing it was moi. I was depressed over my new turkey neck, crows' feet, and well, the fact that I needed a special pair of blogging glasses.
So in my misanthropic malaise, I headed to Trader Joe’s. It was New Year’s Eve afternoon, and I knew it would be a madhouse. “Crap! Look at this parking lot!” I yelled to myself. “I could be here till 2012!” Then a spot opened up right before my aging eyes, and with George Costanza-like zeal, I sang my praises to the world. "Look at this spot!" I beamed. "Would you look at it?" I was the chosen one. Out of all the people waiting in that lot, I had won the lotto.
Then as I was strolling with my red shopping cart through the fruits and nuts section, I realized I had declined three invitations for New Year’s eve. What I really wanted to do was stay home, binge on pistachios and work on my blog. Has this social networking turned me anti-social? What happened to real person-on-person interaction? It’s social in a way. I’ve made so many new blogging friends, some of whom I actually see in real life, how could it be a bad thing? Besides, I talked to the real-life cashier. She was nice.
As I was walking out of the store with my groceries, I looked up and saw a woman who looked just like Bill Clinton. Not the young, charismatic Bill Clinton. The elder statesman Bill Clinton. The white-haired, pale-faced, monochromatic Bill Clinton. The skinny, sorta-somber-because-he’s-not-still-president-and-isn’t-aloud-to-eat-fried-food Bill Clinton. Now, I love Bill, but after doing a double take at this lady, I thought, “Whoa. That is not a good look on a woman. She could even pass for Boris Yeltsin.” Then all of a sudden, I snapped out of my funk. I realized I had a lot to be grateful for. Sure, I’m losing my memory, my eyesight, my cheekbones and my marbles, but I have a parking spot, good friends, a bag of pistachios and I don’t look like Bubba. Life is pretty good.
Happy New Year!